


The Path Was Yours

by HeartInCustody (orphan_account)



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Childhood Friends, F/M, Fire Emblem Fates: Birthright Spoilers, Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-26
Updated: 2018-06-26
Packaged: 2019-05-28 19:35:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15056267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/HeartInCustody
Summary: [Birthright]. Sometimes Corrin questions whether this was the right choice. But when anguish plagues her mind, she knows she can trust Silas to bring her back to days long gone.





	The Path Was Yours

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Yamadori](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yamadori/gifts).



> This work is a [commission](https://ko-fi.com/H2H2EHB4).

The morning air pricks at her skin through the tight sleeves of her shirt, and she clenches her teeth to keep them from chattering. Dawn has broken over the horizon, and had it not been for the occasion, Corrin would have retreated to her chambers.

Instead, she finds herself walking with her siblings, a basket of sweet buns held tightly to her chest. Their smell curls against her nose, waters her mouth, and Corrin does not have to wonder as to why her mother loved them so much…

…At least that’s what she _heard_.

An endless row of gravestones comes into view at the edge of the sloped path. White stones were aligned like perfect teeth, and yet there are so many of them it makes Corrin’s stomach twist in knots. She’s not sure how many of them belong to the causality in the Hoshidan square, when her dragon blood reached out to the beast within and the sword that exploded and killed all those innocents.

The road is direct, serving as a divider between the graves. At the end of the path is a much larger shrine, and Corrin doesn’t need to be told that it houses her late mother. Closer inspection reveals that previous offerings have already been made – food and other Hoshidan trinkets sparkle at the base of the altar.

Ryoma is the first to approach, followed by Hinoka, then Takumi, and then Sakura. It takes a bit of gentle prodding from her siblings, but eventually Corrin steps forward. As she sets down the sweet buns, she realizes she’s not sure _how_ to pray. Is she supposed to clasp her hands and close her eyes? Does she speak in her mind? Aloud?

“Corrin? Are you okay?”

Her older brother’s voice slices her train of thought. Though it hurts a little, Corrin manages to bring herself to smile. It’s small, but it’s all she can do. “Yeah, I’m alright. Just... thinking.”

“If you need to take some time, we can stay a little longer,” Hinoka offers. “It’s been a while since we’ve come here.”

“No, I’m okay, really!” she faces them fully now, and the smile has yet to reach her eyes. “I made you all wait enough this morning so... Anyways, we should hurry back; Yukimura’s probably looking for us.”

And before they can protest further, she forces herself to walk. Each footstep feels heavy, and it’s silly – _stupid_ even, but as she distances herself from the burial grounds, it feels as if her mother is growing further and further away as well.

\--

\--

By noon, Corrin’s heart feels heavier, and she can’t decipher _why_ , but it drives her crazy. So she retires to the kitchen in Castle Shirasagi, hoping to satisfy her growing appetite. She’s greeted warmly by servants and chefs alike, but Corrin still chooses to sit away from the center of the room. Right now, she needs to be alone.

Another dip of miso soup swims in her spoon when she finds herself readjusting her posture. Hoshido did not have regular seats like Nohr, and though it’s well into a year, she’s still not entirely adjusted to them yet. The hurried action causes the bit of soup to slosh in its small confinement, spilling over the edges and successfully landing on her lap. A curse is pushed out between teeth and her hand splays against the table, searching for something to wipe it away.

“Here.”

The voice is familiar, and Corrin knows who it is before she even lifts her head.

“Thanks, Silas,” she says, taking the offered napkin.

“Mind if I sit here?”

...Really? Was he _really_ asking?

Perhaps the incredulity crawls onto her face because his next words are rather flustered. “Right, I know, we’re friends, but sometimes I forget.”

“That we’re friends?” Corrin asks, but there’s amusement in her voice.

He makes a noise in his throat. “No, not that— I mean, kind of— Things are a little different now is all.” (He sits down across from her.) “When I was training to become a knight, we were taught all kinds of formalities when addressing royalty. I guess I slip up with you sometimes. We knew each other since we were kids, but I’m also your retainer. It gets a little confusing sometimes.”

Self-proclaimed retainer, she almost corrects. Not that it _bothered_ her; it was just another way for Silas to be close by. And after the war between Hoshido and Nohr, after everything that happened with her adoptive family, he may be the closest thing she _has_ to her past. Even if she can’t remember everything in detail.

He was just something else she forgot.

“Why the long face?”

“Huh?”

“You’ve been down lately, Corrin,” he says, and Corrin realizes he has food as well. _Tonkatsu_ , was it? “It’s not like you.”

Fake smiles could fool her family, but she had a harder time with Silas, it would seem. “Am I really that easy to read?” A bitter undertone lines her words, and she rests her head on folded arms.

“You’re my best friend – of course I’d notice.”

“I guess I’ve had a lot on my mind,” she says, observing him as he opens the sleeve holding the chopsticks. “This morning, my siblings took me to see mother’s grave.”

He pauses. “Lady Mikoto?”

Corrin nods. “It just hit me a little. There were so many offerings, but I couldn’t identify any of them. Ryoma and the others knew _exactly_ what to bring. They handed me these sweet buns for me to offer – mother liked them. But they just seemed so prepared for this. They _knew_ what to bring, what she liked and what she didn’t... They even recalled happy memories and stories on the way to the shrine. And it just hit me that... I don’t know my mother at all. Although she saved me, although it was _my fault_ that happened to her...”

The suspended words tumble from her mouth like bricks, and her heart feels so _tight_ in her chest it almost _hurts_.

And then Silas is grasping her hand. Firm, but not to the point of pain.

“It’s _not_ your fault,” he assures, and he has that serious look on his face again. The one that he wore when they fought outside Fort Jinya. Serious, yet a sliver of... pity? Sadness? “Don’t ever think that. You had no control over what happened. That happened because of King Garon – not you.”

She wants to pull her hand back, deny his claims. He’s just saying what she wants to hear – he’s too nice to say the truth. Her eyes feel heavy, and her gaze goes back to the chopsticks and the food’s probably getting cold at this point.

“Thank you, Silas,” Corrin finds herself saying. “I… do appreciate it, really. But it all could have been avoided.”

_Just like Xander._

_And Elise._

_And Camilla wouldn’t have retreated from her birthright, offering the crown to Leo, who claims to be prepared, but Corrin_ knows _Leo, knows there is a chink in those words._

_And Azura... Who wouldn’t have had to sing that damned song until the last note sapped away her soul._

“But could it have been avoided? Had there been another way, you would have been met with causalities on that path as well. Every road we take has consequences – and not all of them are in our control,” He releases her hand. “It’s hard to accept, but you shouldn’t have to carry this burden alone. Everyone understands.”

Now _that_ had been said for her sake, and he knew it. She goes to counter, say that _Nohr_ was less understanding, and that even some of the Hoshidans still eyed her with suspicion.

“You’re holding those wrong.”

Silas looks just as surprised as she feels. Those were _not_ the words she wanted to speak, but... who on _earth_ held chopsticks like that? There was barely a line of space between the upper stick and the lower. His fingers were curled too tightly, and she could tell his grip was tense.

“Wait... what?”

That does manage to get a one note laugh out of her. “Sorry, it’s just... you’re wielding them like a dagger.”

“Come on now, I’m not used to these!” But he laughs too, and it’s a breath of fresh air compared to the weighty tone that laced his voice earlier.

“Here, let me show you,” Without a second thought, she reaches for his hands. Her fingers weave with his, loosening the index and middle fingers. “Hold it like you would a quill – that’s how I remember. And you don’t need to have a death grip on them; just keep it steady and they won’t slip- No, that’s- You lost it, try again.”

Seconds drip by as she readjusts his hand, unaware of the flush that practically lances up Silas’ neck (from embarrassment or something else, she does not know).

“...There. That looks good.”

“Uh, thanks,” Silas’ eyes dart from their linked grasp back to the plate.

“Sure thing,” Corrin says, the warmth from holding his hand evaporating ever so slowly. “It takes some getting used to. You should have seen the first time I ate here. It was _really_ embarrassing... Takumi got so frustrated he tried helping, and eventually Sakura stepped in when we were getting nowhere. That was before Takumi and I started getting along though, so he didn’t have that much patience for me. But he didn’t leave until he made sure I could hold them.”

At her retelling, she notices him smile, and at her puzzled stare, he shakes his head. “It’s... Although you hadn’t been in Hoshido as long as you have Nohr, you seemed to have made some good memories as well.” There’s a pause. “That’s a good thing.”

He stuns her into silence, leaving her to ponder his words.

She didn’t have funny stories to recall with her mother given the short time they had together and her own cloudy memories... But her siblings were still here for her. They had tried so hard to make her feel at home.

And Silas tried so hard to make her remember, to help her in the war and even in her weaker times...

“Hey, let’s see each other again later,” He regards her with curiosity, grip slipping on the chopsticks. “There’s something I want to show you.”

\--

\--

The lake may have been the only part of Hoshido that hadn’t changed. If she closed her eyes, she could sometimes hear Azura’s voice, the first two lines of that enchanted song weaving in and out of her mind. But no matter how much she wished, Azura was not here. Corrin knows the Azura she saw the night of Ryoma’s coronation was a vision, but sometimes she _wished_ it hadn’t been so.

Endless clear water stretches before her, undisturbed by ripples or lone breezes. She’s ankle deep, the mud sucking her toes into its grip as the frigid hydration pricks her feet.

 _‘I think if you look closely, you might sense something deeper._ ’

Corrin clenches her eyes shut, tries to empty her mind of everything that has plagued her for the past days. But even in the swirling dustbowl of her mind, she can’t _feel_ anything. It’s as if there’s a gap, something missing, something she has yet to understand.

“Lady Corrin—”

A gasp wrenches itself from her throat and she stumbles, legs tangling with one another in a dance of confusion and she _almost_ falls into the water—

—but Kaze’s fast, and he pulls her towards himself to steady her.

“My apologies,” he says hastily, letting go of her wrist. “It wasn’t my intention to startle you.”

“Kaze, you- I _know_ you’re a ninja, but you really have to stop doing that,” she huffs. “It’s fine, don’t worry about it. But... What are you doing here?”

“Nothing you should concern yourself with, Lady Corrin,” he responds, turning to depart from the shore. “I’ll be returning to Castle Shirasagi fairly soon.”

Corrin swallows past the hesitance that clogs her throat. She knows it’s probably not the right time to ask, let alone mention her, but she’s seen how Kaze was following the war. He was... almost like Corrin herself, a smile that failed to reach the eyes, a cover to ease the worries of others.

“You... I know you miss her too,” she says, notices how he freezes in place. “She was a very selfless person, and I know she cared for you just as much.”

It’s quiet. His back is still turned to her, and had they been closer, maybe she would have reached out and touched his shoulder.

But no, that wasn’t her job. It was something Azura would have done – not Corrin.

“I still have it.”

Corrin knows. “The pendant.”

“...I can’t bear to look at it sometimes. But we made a promise, so I will hold onto it for as long as I need,” Kaze says. “Forgive me, Lady Corrin, but I should be going.”

She doesn’t stop him, simply listens to the sound of his footsteps before she hears nothing at all.

\--

\--

Silas arrives shortly after.

It doesn’t take much persuasion to have him stand by her side in the water.

“Azura asked me if I could sense something, but I don’t know what I’m supposed to be looking for,” she says. “What about you? Can you see anything?”

He shakes his head. “I don’t think I’m the one who can see it, Corrin. I think what Azura meant has something to do with you. It’s hard for me to tell though. She was quite the mysterious one, was never one to talk too much about anything...”

“Absolutely.”

Somewhere in the distance she can hear the occasional trill of a bird, the gentle rustling of the trees as they sway in a sudden breeze.

“What do you think King Garon meant? That his mind was lost?” she asks. “When we defeated him, it was as if he was... already dead. Did he really change?”

“Are you saying he was being controlled?”

No, that didn’t sound right... Nobody had magic strong enough to control a king – and Hoshido would never have done so. Perhaps he regretted his actions, perhaps Azura’s song cleared his twisted mind. The possibilities were endless, and Corrin’s head was beginning to hurt. She didn’t want to think about this right now. There were other times for this, weren’t there? Yet something wasn’t _right_ , and how much longer did they have before it was too late?

She sighs. “I didn’t mean to kill the mood. We’ll talk about it some other time. We should start heading back.”

Corrin manages to backpedal only a step before a splash of cold water lashes out at her. She manages to sputter out a surprised, “Silas- _Really_?! Now-” before another one cuts her off.

He laughs. “Come on, we haven’t had time to ourselves like this since we left for Nohr. It’ll be just like old times too,” he gives her a cheeky smile. You’re free this afternoon right, milady?”

A blush dusts her cheeks at the nickname. Lord she hated formal titles. “Don’t call me that!” she splashes him back and he only laughs harder, but Corrin can feel a smile pulling at her lips. “You _are_ aware I can turn into a dragon now, right?”

“Really? I hadn’t noticed.”

“Oh, funny—”

Though her clothes are soaked to the skin, it’s the happiest she’s felt in a long time. In between the surges of cold water, Corrin’s heart feels strangely full. For once, she feels the stress ebbing away. She knows it’ll be back – it never fully leaves.

Maybe it wasn’t the right path, and maybe she really _couldn’t_ stop the causalities...

But she knows she can trust Silas to help her when she’s down, to bring her back to days long gone.


End file.
